Sh!t Chris Says

It’s time for another edition of SHIT CHRIS SAYS!!!!!

To understand the first one, you need to know what child’s pose is in yoga:

–I was down on the floor in the living room doing child’s pose to stretch my back before bed. Chris comes walking through and says:”Are you worshiping the air purifier?”

–After finishing a series on Netflix, Chris looks over at me sadly and says “Netflix giveth and Netflix taketh away.”

–Chris’s latest picture on Instagram. Be sure to read the caption….

–Chris asks me to heat up two frozen White Castle burgers. As I am grabbing them out of the freezer he says, “If there’s anything else in there that can give me cancer, go ahead and warm that up too!”

–We are driving in the car and Pitbull’s song “Fun” comes on. After a minute or so Chris says, “I don’t understand this song. It’s like Beetlejuice meets The Little Mermaid.”

I lost it! LOST IT!!! Because he is right!!! Take a listen for yourself and tell me you don’t feel the same way?!?!?! You have to make it to at least the first chorus break to get the true Little Mermaid feel.

&nbsp

{Edit}I should warn you that if you listen to that song more than once, you may start to actually like it. And then before you know it you are dancing around your kitchen singing along to it and adding it to your running playlist. Damn you Chris Brown!!!! Every song you touch is catchy as hell and I hate you so hard.

My husband cracks me up! There is no one I would rather do life with. It has been awhile since I have shared any of the funny shit that comes out of his mouth, so here we go!!

——

Chris after waking up on a Sunday morning: “It would be nice if Waffle House was on their way here.

Me: ” Umm…They don’t deliver.”

Chris: “I know, and you remind me of this hell I live in.”

——

I was on my way home one Friday evening and I usually pick up something from one of two BBQ places on the way. I texted Chris to see what he wanted…..this is what I get…..

Please someone tell me, what goes best with New Girl? They didn’t have any Schmidt sandwiches. I brought him home a BBQ turkey plate instead.

—–

Let me paint the scene on this one first….Chris grabs his Dreamcast (an old gaming console system) and lays down on the couch hugging it.

Chris: “Me n bae snuggling on the couch.”

——

Chris is looking at the weather radar on his phone. He turns it towards me so I can see and says, “It is going to weather out there.”

—–

After getting dressed, Chris comes up to me.

Chris: “Do I look like a douche?”

Me: “No?”

Chris: “Are you sure? I want people to know me first before they are like, man…this guy is a douche!”

And that is some of the shit that Chris has said lately. You can see more of what he said here. With links to more posts in that post!