Sh!t Chris Says

SH!T Chris Says

My husband cracks me up! There is no one I would rather do life with. It has been awhile since I have shared any of the funny shit that comes out of his mouth, so here we go!!

Sh!t Chris Says


Chris after waking up on a Sunday morning: “It would be nice if Waffle House was on their way here.

Me: ” Umm…They don’t deliver.”

Chris: “I know, and you remind me of this hell I live in.”


I was on my way home one Friday evening and I usually pick up something from one of two BBQ places on the way. I texted Chris to see what he wanted…..this is what I get…..

Please someone tell me, what goes best with New Girl? They didn’t have any Schmidt sandwiches. I brought him home a BBQ turkey plate instead.


Let me paint the scene on this one first….Chris grabs his Dreamcast (an old gaming console system) and lays down on the couch hugging it.

Chris: “Me n bae snuggling on the couch.”


Chris is looking at the weather radar on his phone. He turns it towards me so I can see and says, “It is going to weather out there.”


After getting dressed, Chris comes up to me.

Chris: “Do I look like a douche?”

Me: “No?”

Chris: “Are you sure? I want people to know me first before they are like, man…this guy is a douche!”

And that is some of the shit that Chris has said lately. You can see more of what he said here. With links to more posts in that post!


Previous Post Next Post

You Might Also Like


  • Reply Julia @ Grace Makes New July 28, 2015 at 8:38 am

    LOL something that goes with New Girl? Hmmm a turkey plate sounds as good as anything else! Loving the Waffle House comment too, lol! I really need to start writing down some of the things Adam says because he is hilarious and super random!

  • Reply Kay R. July 28, 2015 at 8:52 am

    hahahah “and you remind me of this hell we live in” I cant with these lol

  • Reply Laura July 28, 2015 at 9:07 am

    I heart these posts so much!! I love the douche comment — like get to know me first and THEN you can call me a douche. And he should totally write to Waffle House about this delivery thing.

  • Reply Andrea @ Living On Cloud Nine July 28, 2015 at 9:07 am

    Oh my, great stuff here! I would love to be at a party or restaurant with you two! What a hoot! Schmidt sandwich??!! LOVE! I’ll think that every time I get a turkey one. Haha! Thanks for my Tuesday giggles!!! 😉

  • Reply Mia @ MakeMeUpMia July 28, 2015 at 9:31 am

    Chris sounds hilarious! A man that keeps you laughing is the best 😉

  • Reply Kelli July 28, 2015 at 9:46 am

    I want people t know me first. That’s hilarious!!

  • Reply Biana Perez July 28, 2015 at 9:49 am

    I love these!!! I think the texting conversations are always the best – glad you two have the best sense of humors! xo, Biana –BlovedBoston

  • Reply kristen July 28, 2015 at 9:52 am

    hahahaha he is hilarious! i wish waffle house delivered as well.

  • Reply Joey July 28, 2015 at 10:57 am

    I love these. Absolutely hilarious! The new girl one, in particular, is my favorite!

  • Reply Tracie July 28, 2015 at 11:04 am

    me and bae snuggling on the couch?! I love it! I would do that while hugging a bottle of wine 🙂 G also likes to surprise people with his douchery, I think it makes it that much more entertaining.

  • Reply Katie July 28, 2015 at 11:12 am

    Lol love it. Post more! Totally with him on the Waffle House comment. Sunday mornings are made for drama. I still can’t figure out why my dog can’t make coffee for me while I stay in bed.

  • Reply kathy @ realk talk July 28, 2015 at 11:25 am

    omg the douche. my husband does that hahahaha. i guess one can dress like a douche?

  • Reply Tracy July 28, 2015 at 12:46 pm

    Omg too funny! Husbands say the darnedest things 😉

  • Reply Mattie July 28, 2015 at 1:23 pm

    These are some of my favorite posts! I think I need to do one with stuff Michael says because there are some good ones.

  • Reply Margaret July 28, 2015 at 1:51 pm

    hahaha! I love that random shit that comes out of mens mouths. So ridiculous.

  • Reply bri @ deliciously active July 28, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    OMG “Me n bae snuggling on the couch” . That is the funniest ever!!

  • Reply Kate @ Green Fashionista July 28, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    A Schmidt sandwich for the win! Amazing! And my husband asks me the same “douche” question when getting ready to go out.. hilarious!

  • Reply Pamela July 28, 2015 at 4:24 pm

    Hahaha this is hilarious! “Me and bae snuggling” hahahaha!! And that is a good question, what does go good with New Girl? I’d take the turkey platter for sure 🙂

  • Reply Emily @ Martinis & Bikinis July 28, 2015 at 5:04 pm

    LOL at “me and bae…” To funny!

  • Reply allison July 28, 2015 at 7:33 pm

    This is great. I swear, my husband is the funniest person in the world (to me) and it sounds like yours is just as funny! I especially liked the comment about his clothing and potentially looking like a douche haahah!! My husband is super self conscious and would say the same thing!

  • Reply alyssa July 28, 2015 at 9:29 pm

    Hahahah you’ve got yourself a funny one there 😉 oh and you need to have a casserole to go with New Girl!

  • Reply July 29, 2015 at 8:35 am

    he is hilarious! having someone to laugh with (and at) makes marriage that more fun, i imagine!

  • Reply Duckie July 29, 2015 at 8:58 am

    These always make me laugh so hard!

  • Leave a Reply

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.