Sh!t Chris Says

I think it is time for another edition of Sh!t Chris Says!!!!

Sh!t Chris Says


–I played the Ariana Grande song “Problems” for Chris in the car one morning because he hadn’t heard it yet and I thought he would like it because he likes Iggy. He responds with:”Is this subliminal messaging? Are you trying to tell me something?” right after she sings “One less problem without ya.”

–Olivia runs into our room and under the bed. I am pleading with her and asking her to come out. Chris says, “The only thing to get her out is bells. She doesn’t understand English, that’s probably her worst flaw.”

–We are driving home with a pizza from Fox’s. Chris says, “I am going to murder that pizza with my mouth!”

–We are driving through a shady spot in town. I see a cop ahead and let Chris know. He responds with, “Good eye, but the cops aren’t going to get you for speeding through here. In fact, they probably encourage it.”

–We are at World of Beer and Chris orders another beer. I look at him and he says, “I drink all this beer to save the children. Less bottles out there are less for them to consume.”

And there you have it folks. That is the shit that Chris says. You can see even more of what he says now that he has his own blog.

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  • Reply Lauren August 12, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    I can’t believe you made him his own graphic and everything! I am totally going to use that excuse if I ever get pulled over in a shady part of town… I mean, it’s just self-preservation, right?

  • Reply Kristen August 12, 2014 at 1:02 pm

    hahaha she doesnt understand english! thats brilliant. i am going to use the ‘murder with my mouth’ thing next time i have pizza. now i want pizza.

  • Reply Joey August 12, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    “They probably encourage it.” Oh gosh too funny!

  • Reply Jules August 12, 2014 at 1:59 pm

    LOL “that is her greatest flaw”

  • Reply Stephanie August 12, 2014 at 2:45 pm

    hahaha to save the children!! I’m going to use that one!!

  • Reply Biana Perez August 12, 2014 at 4:03 pm

    hilarious!!! This made my morning

  • Reply Lindsay | Broke and Bougie August 12, 2014 at 4:15 pm

    girl stop I LOLed through this whole post!!! I want to be best friends with yall!!!

  • Reply Paige @ An Uncomplicated Life Blog August 12, 2014 at 4:18 pm

    Save the children! Hahahahahahaha! Yessssssss.

  • Reply Lynsey @ Eternally Wanderlyn August 12, 2014 at 4:27 pm

    Hahaha! Her greatest flow? He is too funny. 🙂

  • Reply Kerry August 12, 2014 at 4:29 pm

    He is too funny. They probably do encourage it, crime prevention! 😉 I want to save the children too, pass me a beer!

  • Reply Jana @ Jana Says August 12, 2014 at 6:04 pm

    That comment about the cops is too funny. I might still be giggling.

    I need to bring this post back on my blog because my husband says some of the most insane shit I have ever heard.

  • Reply Amanda Elizabeth August 12, 2014 at 6:27 pm

    Well you know what Livvy is very smart and may be learning English…..just saying. Now I want pizza….

  • Reply Kateri Von Steal August 12, 2014 at 6:43 pm

    I drank these for THE CHILDREN…. HAHAHAHAHA! Awesome!

  • Reply Krystal August 12, 2014 at 7:21 pm

    hahaha too funny! Men say some crazy ish! I about to murder some food right now with my mouth!

  • Reply SMD @ Life According to Steph August 12, 2014 at 8:31 pm

    The only time I’ve been stopped in a bad part of town, the cops shooed me out of there when they came up to the window. So he’s on to something there!

  • Reply brooke lyn August 12, 2014 at 10:11 pm

    your animal not understanding english is the worst flaw. definitely not eating its own poop or anything like that

  • Reply Amanda August 12, 2014 at 10:39 pm

    Bahahahah… I love his murdering the pizza line!

  • Reply Brittney August 12, 2014 at 11:39 pm

    Damn I should have told the cop that gave me a speeding ticket in the hood the other day that I was just trying to hurry up and get out of there. Unfortunately he didn’t encourage it…he gave me a big fat ticket.

  • Reply Duckie August 26, 2014 at 6:44 am

    Lmfao! This is too funny!!

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