Sh!t Chris Says

It looks like it is time for another edition of:

Sh!t Chris Says


You can check out what he has said in the past here, here and here.

–Chris bought this new iphone case that is a bottle opener. He is like really REALLY proud of this shit because he pulls it out everywhere and has to show everyone. I mean…it is pretty cool.  Well, one afternoon we were at On Tap and his phone face planted into the concrete. Amazingly the phone didn’t break or shatter!

The general consensus he and his friend came up with? “The spirit of the hops saved it.”


–A Nationwide commercial came on.

Chris: ” You recognize this song?”

Me: “I think I have heard it before, yeah….”

Chris: “It is from PLL, I have it on my phone.”

**PLL is Pretty Little Liars for those of you who are not cool enough to be watching the greatest high school girly drama show on ABC family.

–We are watching Law and Order SVU.

Me: “Oh Wong is angry! I love it when he gets angry!”

Chris: “Does he give you a hard wong.”

Me: “Maybe”

–Our little Mac somehow managed to swallow an entire chicken wing whole. We were really worried about him for a few days. I mean…..he is 7 lbs, how in the hell did he even manage to get a wing in his little mouth, yet alone swallow it whole?!?!?!?!? Mac jumps up on the couch the  night after it happens.

Chris: “Hey bone crusher.”

–We are sitting out on our deck one evening and Chris says that he really likes the smells of certain sexy perfumes and wishes I would wear one.

Me” Do you not like my Coach perfumes?”

Chris “Maybe they are just too classy for me.”

Me” What does that even mean?!?!”

That weekend we are getting dressed and I spray some cheap ass Britney Spears “Midnight Fantasy” perfume I bought several years ago…probably when I was in college.

Chris “Oh yeah….that’s the stuff!!!!!”

Me” Ummm I smell cheap.”

Chris ” I love it when you smell like a stripper.”

Me “Awesome.”

I mean…..the freaking bottle has rhinestones on it for goodness sakes….to each their own…


Voyage of the Mee Mee
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  • Reply Jenny @ Dancin' With A Dolly May 13, 2014 at 11:59 am

    These are great!! I have to say my fave, since I am in love with SVU is, “Does he give you a hard wong?” HAHAHA!!

  • Reply Lauren May 13, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    I love it when you smell like a stripper! Ha! That is probably so true. Also that phone case is awesome… I have a bottle opener in my car but on the phone case is even better. And poor Mac but I do love the new nickname!

  • Reply Kelli May 13, 2014 at 12:39 pm

    I love it when you smell like a stripper, bahahahahaha!

    Mac is the dog!! A whole chicken wing is amazing!

  • Reply SMD @ Life According to Steph May 13, 2014 at 12:45 pm

    Bone Crusher!

    hahahah re: B.D. Wong

  • Reply Lindsay | Broke and Bougie May 13, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    STOP I am laughing SO hard reading these! Bone crusher!

    Sidenote- I also LIVE for the episodes where Wong gets heated. I will forever think of “does it make your wong hard”

  • Reply Ralph Marion May 13, 2014 at 12:54 pm

    I was rolling with all the stuff y’all talked about. Whitney and I are the same way. Maybe one day, I will do something like this for me and her. MAYBE!!!

  • Reply Kateri Von Steal May 13, 2014 at 1:08 pm

    I think I block the stupid stuff my fiance says.. I mean, I know he says it.. A LOT.. but, I can’t bring any of it to mind.. Maybe I should.. because it literally makes me twitch.

    But I LOVE HIM! hahahahaha.

  • Reply Jessi May 13, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    That definitely is an amazing iphone case! LOL your normal perfume is “too classy” haha.

  • Reply Amanda May 13, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    ““The spirit of the hops saved it.”” Bahahhahaa! “I love it when you smell like a stripper!” BAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh, Chris! 😀

  • Reply kathy@vodka and soda May 13, 2014 at 3:24 pm

    that bottle opener case is awesome! chris says the funniest thing; esp the hard wong part LOL

  • Reply Kristen May 13, 2014 at 3:50 pm

    hahahahaha i love when you smell like a stripper! hilarious! that phone case is pretty epic. bone crusher? oh my goodness how DID that little dog get that in his belly? haha. love these, totally want to do it next month.

  • Reply Kate May 13, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    Laughing so hard at the stripper comment. You should get some glitter lotion too!

  • Reply brooke lyn May 13, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    does he give you a hard wong. i die.

  • Reply Kerry May 13, 2014 at 4:49 pm

    OMG I love these all. The spirit of the hops and hard wong, too funny! The fact that he admitted the song from PLL is on his phone, man card taken away! 😉

  • Reply Jules May 13, 2014 at 4:50 pm

    HAHAH these are my favorite posts. Love the perfume and bone crusher!

  • Reply Girl Brooks May 13, 2014 at 5:34 pm

    Chris is hilarious! I’ve got to give it to him on the hard wong one.

  • Reply Lidija May 13, 2014 at 6:33 pm

    Does he give you a hard wong? HAHAHA omg too funny!

  • Reply Dani May 13, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    Oh my goodness… where can I get that phone case??!
    Also, I have “nicer” perfumes, yet I always get the most compliments on the Britney Spears and JLO Glow….no joke. Guess he’s not the only one who likes stripper scent!

  • Reply Jackie May 13, 2014 at 9:59 pm

    If you really want to impress Chris, look into the iphone case that’s also a stun gun. It drove my guy friends nuts.


  • Reply Laura May 13, 2014 at 10:49 pm

    I am in both shock and awe that you can remember all of the stuff that comes out of his mouth!! Or just pick the favorites??! 🙂 This is too funny!

  • Reply Meighan May 14, 2014 at 1:58 pm

    I’m pretty proud of the fact that I already knew all of these via our daily badass emails. The things men says…

  • Reply Jana @ The Townhouse Pioneer May 14, 2014 at 5:00 pm

    I love it when you smell like a stripper. That shit is classic.

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