Yesterday after I hit publish on my post, I went to finish getting ready for work. I had been standing in the bathroom checking out my “abs” in the mirror before pulling my dress over my head. I thought, hey…there seems to be a little more definition here today. I then looked over at the scale in the corner and winced. Dare I? Dare I step on that scale only to be disappointed to see the same fucking number that has been staring me in the face for almost a year now?
You see, about a month ago I told myself no more. I am not going to step on that scale for a long time because I cant handle the defeat. I work out too hard to let that scale define me. But yesterday morning, I had an extra moment and all the fear seeped back in. I looked in the mirror again, sighed heavily and stepped on the scale.
As it was registering the numbers I said to myself, well if that number is higher there is a good reason for it. I tend to weigh a little more this week than any other week in the month. I had considered stepping off before I saw the number but too late. I looked down and I could see something register. But wait. This cant be? I stepped off, waited for it to clear and stepped back on.
Wow. I stared down at the number until it disappeared. It has been a month since my last defeat. A month of side eying that scale every time I pass it to grab my make up in the morning. In that month of not knowing. That month of not letting a number define me. In that month…I lost 7 pounds. I finally. FINALLY. got over that plateau.
I feel more motivated now than ever to continue pushing on. I am not done yet. And you know what, the scale and I….we will meet again in a few weeks. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But in a few weeks. Because checking that number every day does no good. Checking that number every day holds me back.
I say all of this to say, keep going. This isn’t just a weight thing, but a life thing. Sure, you might not be getting what you want right now. But if you continue to believe that you deserve it and you can achieve it, then it will be yours. Just take it a day at a time, and after a few weeks or months have passed take a look at your progress. You may be pleasantly surprised.