Sh!t Chris Says

Sh!t Chris Says

It is time for another installment of SHIT CHRIS SAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

–We were watching the episode of Friends where the landlord talks Joey in to dancing with him so the girls don’t get kicked out of their apartment. Chris says, “They have ample room between them. Maybe that’s why they call it ‘ballroom’ dancing.”

–Chris goes out back to cut the grass and comes back in ten minutes later and says “Life’s too short, pay someone!!!”

–Chris with our swan float at the pool, “Stop looking at me swan!!!”

I lost it. LOST IT!


By the way, that swan float took four adults and one six year old about 45 minutes to deflate. We were literally dog piled on top each other squeezing our areas while one person held the safety valve to let the air back out. LAWD!

–While watching an episode of Law and Order SVU…

Chris: “The only crime I see is your turtle neck.”

–It is rare that Chris and I have lunch together during the week. He works 30 minutes away from me. We got to enjoy Which Which one day together after a doctor appointment. We were people watching while we ate and Chris made a comment about this guy’s ridiculous outfit. He said,” What did he do lose a bet??? He was probably like ‘Pulling. It. Off.’ this morning before he left his house. And his mom says ‘No you aren’t!’ Because he lives in her basement”

And there you have it folks. A sprinkle of the funny shit Chris has said the last month.

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  • Reply Emelia August 16, 2016 at 6:42 am

    BALLROOM dancing…OMG I can’t….seriously hilarious! He cracks me up!

  • Reply Amy @ The Crazy Wise Woman August 16, 2016 at 7:26 am

    He is funny! I love the “stop looking at me swan” hahaha!

  • Reply August 16, 2016 at 7:57 am

    The swan!! Cracking me up!

  • Reply Cara August 16, 2016 at 8:18 am

    Wow, thank Chris for my morning entertainment right here! haha The turtleneck comment cracked me up!

  • Reply Andrea @ Living On Cloud Nine August 16, 2016 at 8:34 am

    This make me happy!! The swan, I die!!! Tell Chris he made my morning!! And I hope you both have a super day!! Oh and I do think turtlenecks are a crime on men, lol.

  • Reply SMD @ Life According to Steph August 16, 2016 at 9:14 am

    I love all Adam Sandler references.

  • Reply Jessica @ Pleas(e) & Carrots August 16, 2016 at 9:53 am

    Bahaha ballroom dancing! It took me a second but hahaha

  • Reply Rebecca Jo August 16, 2016 at 10:16 am

    OH my gosh.. I’ll never look at Ballroom dancing the same.
    That is pretty clever

  • Reply kathy @ more coffee, less talky August 16, 2016 at 10:37 am

    the swan!! LOL

  • Reply Audrey August 16, 2016 at 10:39 am

    Oh my gosh. I laughed at every one of these- especially the swan one! My husband says that all. the. time. Hahaha!

  • Reply Pamela @ A Little Glitter August 16, 2016 at 10:47 am

    I am dying laughing at this post! He is hilarious!

  • Reply joey August 16, 2016 at 10:50 am

    These are my favorite posts, ever! I just wish I had the commitment to keep track of J’s funnies more often!

  • Reply Laura August 16, 2016 at 10:58 am

    Any and all Adam Sandler references alllll day please. I agree with the lawn statement — eff that noise for real.

  • Reply Bri @ North Star Girl Lone Star World August 16, 2016 at 11:10 am

    He is hilarious! I had to put my coffee cup down when I read the turtleneck one. I started to take a sip but knew I was going to spit it out the second I started reading that one if I did take a sip.

  • Reply Amy Getz August 16, 2016 at 11:34 am

    OMG – these are all good! A couple made me giggle, and I wasn’t even there! “Pay someone!” Yes!

  • Reply Tania // Run to Radiance August 16, 2016 at 12:35 pm

    Okay, I need a giant inflatable swan. Stat.

    And I agree…life is short- pay someone!: D

  • Reply Erika August 16, 2016 at 12:45 pm

    This is cracking me up! I would totally do this but everything would be how Will turned it in to a song. Which happens every day.

  • Reply kristen August 16, 2016 at 1:21 pm

    it took me so long to figure out the ballroom dancing one hahahaha

  • Reply Lauren @ Oh Hey! I Like That! August 16, 2016 at 1:37 pm

    Okay, I should NOT read the Shit Chris Says posts as work because it is taking every fiber of my being not to burst out laughing! “STOP LOOKING AT ME, SWAN!”

  • Reply Ashley @ The Wandering Weekenders August 16, 2016 at 2:01 pm

    Haha the life’s too short, pay someone is totally a line that my Chris would use too! He in fact does pay someone, which is why I get somebody to help clean up the house! And hooray for Billy Madison! Adam Sandler quotes are always appropriate!

  • Reply carly August 16, 2016 at 3:24 pm

    Soo funny– love the lawn mower one! Also that swan is HUGE/awesome, not surprised it was so hard to deflate! haha

  • Reply texerinsydney August 17, 2016 at 2:12 am

    This is the best installment yet! I particularly agree with his “Life’s too short, pay someone!!!” sentiment.

  • Reply Biana August 17, 2016 at 6:33 am

    It’s all fun and games until the swan has to deflate LOL! xo, Biana –BlovedBoston

  • Reply Emily @ Martinis & Bikinis August 17, 2016 at 8:47 pm

    Wow cracking up over here! The first one is definitely genius to come up with on the spot and then the yard work sounds like something I would say!! If I remember correctly, you used to do most of the yard work before getting pregnant?

  • Reply Rach @ This Italian Family August 18, 2016 at 4:07 pm

    I’m with him on mowing the lawn! If Christopher didn’t weirdly like doing yard work, we would so be paying someone to do it regularly! Also that swan is intense!

  • Reply Megan August 20, 2016 at 5:59 am

    Love this post! This would definitely be something I’d do, if I had a blog. Husbands are great.

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