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Felt like a good currently post this morning. I also have something on my mind that I would like to vent.

Reading– One to Watch came available from the library last week. It was the audio version though, and I really just don’t have time to listen to a book right now. It is much easier for me to physically read one, which is so different than me pre-pandemic. I hope to get through it before it is due back.

Watching– Some of our shows have come back, so we have enjoyed catching an episode after Zoe goes to bed a few times this week. We are caught up with Good Doctor, Blue Bloods, Chicago Fire, SVU and I think we have one more episode of Greys. It is nice to have that normalcy back.

Listening-I found Liz Moody’s Instagram account through Whitney Simmons when she shared some of her Tik Tok recipes that I tried. I learned that she has a podcast called Healthier Together. I listened to her most recent episode on skincare with Jessica DeFino and I found it very intriguing. In the episode she talks about why hyaluronic acid isn’t good for your skin, and a few other shocking tidbits I never thought about. I am definitely going to do some research now. If you are looking for healthy recipes, Liz’s Instagram account is great!!!

Cooking-I made an oatmeal bar recipe yesterday morning, and it was amazing. Like I almost ate the whole pan throughout the day yesterday because I couldn’t stop. This is where the recipe came from. Found, again, from a Whitney Simmons video.

I also made this chicken tortilla soup last night. It was really good! Definitely add the coconut milk. It gives it this creaminess to it that really sets it apart.

Thinking-Last Friday was insane with work. Email was blowing up. We took in more jobs in that one day than we usually get in a week. I was feeling overwhelmed, especially since I had worked extra early in the week to take a few hours to spend with Zoe on her birthday and wasn’t able to.

I had mentioned being overwhelmed to my sister, who made a comment about how she doesn’t have any sympathy for me because I get to sit in the comfort of my own home in a sweatshirt and don’t have to deal with people in person like the “essentials” such as herself.

Is there anyone else out there who feels this way??? Because let me tell you, while I am so so so grateful that I have a job that allows me to WFH in a sweatshirt during all of this…it is not some easy cake walk. I have a full time job with real responsibility. Take yesterday, my team was responsible and the last say on whether a $50 million deal went through. And yes, I do it from the comforts of my home..in a sweatshirt most days…but I am ALSO taking care of my child during this time. Basically a second full time job. And being her friend, caregiver, playmate, mother, teacher, dance instructor, basically her everything. Because Chris sits in meetings literally all day every day and cant really help me at all.

I still wake up before the ass crack of dawn, and even though I don’t have to commute to the office anymore…I still have to work out and fit in a few hours of work before Zoe wakes up. Last night I was up til almost 11pm working after she had gone to sleep. I work EVERY Saturday and Sunday for several hours, waking up early and not getting to sleep in on a weekend. Thanksgiving and Black Friday are the only two days I have had off since March. And only because I forced myself to take a break.

On top of all of that, I have mom guilt for making my daughter play independently for hours every day. Way longer than anyone her age should have to. And I have guilt in my career for not being the best I can possibly be and trying to further myself. I get my work done and on time, but it is really hard to focus some days when you are getting interrupted a hundred times to get snacks, put someone on the potty, checking to see what that noise was, listening to ridiculous shows on the ipad in the background, being asked 50 times if I am almost done and can take a break, etc.

So I want to set the record straight for people out there that think working from home is easy, and not really work. Because I promise you it is in fact not. And just because I don’t have to see people in person, doesn’t mean I don’t have to deal with people. I get snarky emails where it is hard to read the tone. I spend hours trying to track down data on the phone, talking to zoning departments, tax assessor offices, playing phone tag, etc. I have zoom calls with my team, and have to talk to market participants. So I am still “dealing with people.”

I ignored her comment, but it has eaten at me for days. This year has been hard on everyone, no matter your situation. We should have compassion for others, because you never really know what they are going through.

And there is this, which I think a lot of us have mastered…

Working-Because of what I said above, a lot of my side projects that I was really excited about this year have fallen to the back burner. Or off the stove completely. I had so many great ideas that I really want to make happen, and I just don’t have the time or energy for them. And I know you make time for what is important to you, but damn. Can someone give me a few extra hours in the week to accomplish them???

I need to come up with a plan for these things. I am indefinitely working from home for at least another year, and Zoe probably wont go back to school until the next school year…so this is life and I need to figure out a way to balance it. I think the hardest part of this year for me is feeling like I am losing myself and just barely staying afloat. Does anyone else feel that way?

Linking up with Steph and Jana. I read a few books that I really enjoyed this month, one was a debut from an author that I highly recommend. My goal at the beginning of the year was to read 52 books, average one a week. I don’t think I did that many in 2019. This year had other plans for us all, didn’t it. I am at 67 books for the year! I hope to get all my favorites together for the second book link up later this month. I feel like I rated more books 4 and 5 stars this year than in the past. I am not sure if it was the head space I was in, or they were really that good? What was your reading like this year? Did you find yourself getting lost in a book more or less?

The Flatshare by Beth O’Leary

This is my first from this author. I actually have The Switch on audiobook in my possession as well. I thought this was a cute book, but I have to be honest and say I wasn’t real sure about the writing style for the Leon parts. I got used to it, but it was hard in the beginning. I really loved Tiffy, Leon, Rachel and Richie. The premise of the book, building a relationship through post it notes reminds me of the early days between Chris and I, as we met online and communicated at first through email and then text before phone calls and finally meeting in person.

There is some baggage to unpack with Tiffy and her ex boyfriend. Man, was he a douche. This could be triggering for some people. I think it was done very well and convincible. Overall, a lovely book that I enjoyed and had a hard time putting down.

Bottom Line: Read it!

Anxious People by Fredrik Backman

So I have an unpopular opinion in that I didn’t LOVE everything about Beartown and Ove. I liked both books overall and though the writing was beautiful, they took awhile for me to get in to. I felt that Beartown just went on forever and ever and I got really bored in parts, not caring to pick it up.

Now, with all that said…I like Anxious People a lot more! I finished in just a few sittings. All the characters in the book worked their way into my heart quickly, even if they didn’t seem likable in the beginning. I sort of figured out what happened, but there was a slight twist to it for me. Also, the way that Fredrik worked and weaved some of these characters together was very well thought out. The book was filled with grief, depression, anxiety, love, loss, parenthood, life choices. It has it all. What I loved most, was that this book was heartbreaking in some ways, but made me laugh and left me feeling warm in the end.

Bottom Line: I probably wouldn’t have picked this book up if it wasn’t for book club given my history with his previous books. But I was left feeling warm and loved the way the story tied together in the end. I think there were 7 of us on the book club meeting, and I am the only one who liked the book. But most people whose recommendations I take (Kristen…Heather…looking at you) loved it. His writing is definitely not for everyone.

Shipped by Angie Hockman

This book is marketed as The Unhoneymooners  meets The Hating Game, and I have to say that is very true. The Galápagos Islands sounds like a dream. I admittedly didn’t know much about the area and looked it up while I was reading so I could really transport myself there. I love both characters in this book, the banter between them and their competitiveness kept it really fun and entertaining. Their chemistry was nice, even though it was a closed door romance. I smiled the entire way through, and this might be one of my favorite romcoms of the year!

Bottom Line: Highly recommend. I cant believe this is a debut book from this author, I cant wait to read her next one!

**I received a copy of Shopped from Netgalley in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are of my own.**

Such a Fun Age by Kiley Reid

After Shipped, I had a hard time getting into anything because I was sad it was over. I started to read this book and just sort of lost my mojo. Then a day before it was due back to the library, I picked it up and really got into it! There is a lot to unpack with this book. There are many heavy topics, yet the whole book felt light to me? I really liked Emira and some of the other characters in the book. There was a good pace all the way through, and I liked the ending. It wasn’t rushed or cheesy, which was appreciated.

Bottom Line: Read it.

The Happy Ever After Playlist by Abby Jimenez

I didn’t realize this was the second book in the series to The Friend Zone until I added that I was reading it into Goodreads. Kristen from that book is best friends with our leading lady, Sloan in this book. I want to go back and read the first one because I loved this one SO much and people I know said they liked Friend Zone even better. How?? I guess I will find out.

Anyways, about this book. I loved Sloan and Jason, Tucker and really loved Jason’s family. Sloan is dealing with the grief of losing her fiance in a tragic accident and having a hard time moving on, Jason has the drama of being famous. It was instant love, which sometimes can go either way for me. I liked it in this book. I thought there were some really beautiful moments throughout the book. And the mental state that Sloan was in at the beginning felt realistic to me. I had a really hard time putting it down.

Bottom Line: So cute, read it!!!

The Montessori Toddler: A Parent’s Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being by Simone Davies

I requested this book back in March when Zoe’s school first shut down, and I just now got it. Ridiculous, right?! Obviously, we are still staying home with Zoe and I am desperate for a refresh on our lessons throughout the week. I will admit, I was slightly disappointed that this book is geared for ages 1-3. Most of the stuff in this book is too young for my daughter who is 4. However, there are some key principles I have taken away in the way I deal with problems that arise. There are also a few activities and ideas that can still apply.

I definitely think this would have been a great book to read about 2 years ago for me. I definitely recommend it for other parents just starting out. You don’t have to have the Montessori mindset to read this book. It really helps you relate to your toddler. Any parent can utilize a lot of these techniques.

Bottom Line: This would be the perfect book for parents of young children, newborn to 3.

Cupcakes for Christmas by Kate Hewitt

I love reading Christmas books this time of year, obviously. This book had some really cute elements to it, I loved the bakery setting and the fact that it had older characters that are closer to my age than most of the love story books I read. However, I felt this book lacked character development. There were zero romance sparks for me between Olivia and Simon. There are some deeper topics in this book dealing with Olivia’s mom’s dementia and Simon had a tragedy in his family. So this isn’t a fluffy book by any means, but it wasn’t deep either, given the topic. I enjoyed the story and the setting while I was reading it, but honestly, it is quite forgettable.

Bottom Line: If you are looking for a Christmas book to pass the time, this one is fine. I enjoyed the descriptions and the setting of the book. This just wasn’t anything special, and rather forgettable. Just a book to pass the time.

Currently Reading

One to Watch by Kate Stayman-London

What a weekend! Friday was Zoe’s birthday. I can’t believe she is 4. I keep looking at the calendar and the math is there, but it still makes no sense…you know?!?! I hope that she had a good birthday. I think she did. We did everything in our power to make it extra special.

Friday morning we woke her up early to open presents, because unfortunately, Chris had to work nonstop pretty much all day with a huge project they had. We spent almost 2 hours opening gifts because she asked for LOL stuff, and if you don’t know anything about LOL…they come with lots of little “surprises” in each box. Each pair of shoes, outfit, accessory has to be opened. I will admit, it was A LOT of fun opening them with her. She got so excited about it all.

After we did that for awhile, I took Zoe to Dunkin Donuts for her birthday breakfast. She wanted a strawberry snowflake donut. When we came back, we set up the LOL house and played. Unfortunately, my work also blew up on Friday…and despite my attempts to work extra hard all week…I still had to work a good bit Friday as well. Zoe was really great and understanding about it.

For lunch, she really wanted a burger so we went to Full Moon and grabbed burgers to bring back. My SIL came over right after we got back to bring by Zoe’s presents. We haven’t seen her since February, so it was really nice to see her for a few minutes. Hopefully we can do another visit soon! Chris’s parents came by a few hours later to see Zoe for a few minutes as well, which had her excited all over again.

I made her strawberry cupcakes with homemade buttercream icing, and she also requested a cookie cake. We are definitely a cookie cake family. Chris was able to take a break for a few minutes to come up and enjoy cake with us!

Saturday morning, my sister dropped by with presents. It was nice to spend a little bit of time with her…and then we were off to meet Zoe’s best friend to have a little parking lot birthday celebration. She was SO excited to see her. her mama was so sweet to meet up with us and make Zoe feel extra special. It was also nice for me to see a friend in person too!

My sister got Zoe a Melissa and Doug grocery store. I have had so many people message me asking me about it. So to answer some of those questions, it came with really good instructions to put it together. Chris did like 99% of it, I helped a few times when needed. I think it took him about an hour. It is pretty sturdy, and we will definitely chose this brand over others for stuff like this. My sister had gotten her this complimentary pack to go with it. I definitely recommend it, it has the money for the cash drawer, the “pressure point” item holder and items like the gift card, gum, fruit snack, magazine, etc…and the shopping bag, apron and a few other items. And yes, the scanner really beeps. I have been grocery shopping about 200 times in the last 48 hours.

Saturday night, I gave Chris one of his presents early. I just couldn’t wait! I got him the Galaxy 360 Pro. There are tons of videos on their Instagram and YouTube. I shared one Saturday night. It is the coolest! I have a coupon code if you use NADINEMATHEWS at checkout, you can save 10%. I paid for this item 100%, and signed up to be an ambassador because I thought it was super cool.

Sunday morning I spent quite awhile shaving Mac and giving him a bath. I am no dog groomer, and it took way longer than it probably should have….but he looks like a new man lol. Mac is 10 years old, and this is the first time I used dog clippers on him. We normally have him groomed at the vet, and I would use scissors in the past if he got a knot somewhere, but this was full blown shaving. I was really nervous to do it, but I didn’t cut/nick him at all….so these were great clippers if you need some!

We ordered Tazikis for lunch/dinner. I got the pimento cheese sandwich for lunch, and we ordered the family meal of grilled chicken, rice, taziki sauce and greek salad for dinner. Everything was sooooo good!

Last night we all snuggled in to watch Elf, and both Zoe and I fell asleep! It was a busy weekend and I guess we were both worn out.

It is hard to believe that I have a four year old! It feels like the fastest four years of my life. It has been such a joy and privilege getting to watch her grow and change. Her personality has always been strong from the very start. She fills any room she is in, and I love that about her. She never meets a stranger, finds something to celebrate every single day, and is the girliest girl I have ever met. She is really good about saying thank you for every day things, and makes my heart swell with pride when I hear it.

She is also incredibly stubborn, very dramatic and funny as hell. She has me cracking up every day. That is when I am not losing my shit because there is too much of Chris and I in her. Arguing with a tiny, irrational version of yourself is not for the faint of hearts. I think most parents can relate to that.

Over the past year, she has learned all her shapes, letters, some numbers. She understands the concepts of patterns, same and different, big and small, seasons, items that belong together and ones that don’t, can count to 20 (most of the time) and can color in the lines pretty darn well. It is amazing how much she has learned just since we have been home in March. I am no teacher, and she would probably be thriving even more in school with professionals who aren’t distracted by their full time job most of the time just squeezing in lessons for 15-20 minutes each day when I can….but that is where we are this year. I am thankful that she still has another year and a half before she starts kindergarten, based on when her birthday falls. I feel like having that extra year will have her extra prepared.

Today I am going to do everything I can to make her day extra special given the circumstances. I mean, she is stuck at home with me again, for like the 275th day in a row or something like that. She wont get to have a real party with all her friends, and it is something that she has expressed being upset about several times over the last few months as we have gotten closer to the day without anything really changing. Back in March, I never dreamed of spending Chris’s birthday in May still at home. In May, I thought for sure my birthday in August would be back to normal. I sympathized with friends over the spring and summer who couldn’t have parties for their kiddos and made sure to send presents so they still felt special on their day…never thinking it would be me in December, yet here we are.

I hope that when Zoe looks back on her 4th birthday, she remembers all the extra time we got to spend together this year. I hope she remembers all the laughs, the random every day parties to celebrate anything and everything, the extra magic that the holiday season has brought us, and understands the decisions that we have made to keep our family as safe as we can.

Linking up with Tanya for an Amazon favorites post. This is most of the items we have ordered since my last post. More Christmas presents, birthday decor, some other random things we needed. I ordered several things off Etsy and from local shops for Christmas as well…but the commercial items like the ones below….I am going for the best deal.

Are you still Christmas shopping? What have you ordered from Amazon lately?

Dog Clippers

Mac is looking rough. Like, really rough. The last several years, we have paid to have him groomed a few times a year. With us not going anywhere in several months, he is way past due. I cut his fur with scissors over the summer, but it has grown back out and then some.

Glass Baking Dish

I needed another 9 x 13 pan for Thanksgiving. This OXO one is really awesome. I love that it came with a lid, and can go from freezer to oven to fridge.

Pastry Blender

Can you believe I didn’t have one of these??? I have used it to make homemade biscuits and pie in just the last 3 weeks. Definitely worth it.

Vionic Slippers

My feet are terrible right now. So much pain in my arch and heel. I went to an ortho doctor about a year and a half ago, went through physical therapy and was prescribed orthotics for my shoes. Enter 9 months of walking around barefoot at home way more than I should, working out 5 days a week, and being 37….and my feet are not happy. I had gotten a pair of slippers a few months ago, and I love them but they have no arch support and I have a very high arch. These slippers have been amazing. It is almost immediate relief when I walk in them. This brand can get really expensive, but with this link above….there are some styles for under $30!!! I paid $44 for my ivory colored ones. Full price on these is $70, so anything less than $50 is a win in my book. These are 100% worth it, and I would pay full price for these if I had to.

Hot Wheels Track

Chris ordered this Hot Wheels track and a set of Fast and Furious cars to go with it to play with Zoe. You have to make sure you have lots of indoor entertainment as we enter into winter! It is pretty cool, Zoe turns it on pretty much every day.

Rocket Launcher

Along those same lines, Chris ordered this rocket launcher. This was a HUGE hit in our house. All three of us play with it, and it has provided hours of entertainment for Zoe. If you are needing a gift idea for a kid, this is pretty awesome. Boys and girls would love it.

Solar System Floor Puzzle

I saw this on Danielle’s list originally and immediately ordered it for Zoe. She is obsessed with the moon and stars at night, so I thought it would be cool for her to start learning the rest of the planets too.

Kindi Kids

Zoe is obsessed with Kindi Kids. She already had Summer Peaches, we ordered her Peppa Mint, Donatina and Marsha Mallo for Christmas.

Glow in the Dark Stars

Who had stars on their ceiling growing up??? Such a nostalgic buy and perfect for Zoe’s stocking!

Drawing Pad

Zoe loves to color and draw. We go through a ton of paper in this house, and it is wasteful. This LED pad is perfect for doodles, and would be an excellent travel toy when we start going places again.

Rainbow Z

I ordered this rainbow “Z” to decorate for Zoe’s birthday this week! I love that we can use this as room decor when her party is over.

Rainbow and Garland

I also ordered this rainbow and garland to decorate for her birthday. Again, with intentions of using this in her playroom or bedroom for decor. I got the medium size, and it will be perfect.