How to Tell When You are Getting Old

So I decided that there are definitely some red flags that go up that should let you know that you are getting older. Now, it is OK to ignore twelve one or two…but when you start seeing several, you know it is that time.

1. New music that comes out makes you cringe from time to time. Now, I haven’t gone to listening to some oldies station or anything like that, I can handle some of the top 40 stuff. But seriously. WTH is up with some of these new songs lately? I find myself listening to Spotify more and more.

2. Clothing starts too look crazy. What is up with some of these hipsters these days? And if you find yourself thinking that shorts and skirts were never that short before, you are wrong. In fact you used to wear them, you are just too old to remember.

3. You try to be hip with something that is “cool” but end up calling it something totally wrong and are corrected with a roll of the eyes by a twelve year old. My sister was talking about Tom shoes last year, and she called them Tom Toms. My oldest niece was sure to correct her very quickly on that one. I had to laugh when she was telling me the story.

4. You look at pictures of yourself from college and think you look like a baby. You wonder when your crows feet started to appear and notice that your chest was more geographically pleasing then.

I’m not the only one who looks like a baby…look at puppy Gracie!!!

5. You just don’t bounce back like you used to. From anything. Drinking, working out, staying up late…you get the picture.

7. The thought of wine coolers, Mike’s Hard Lemonade, and raspberry flavored liquor make you throw up a little bit in your mouth. They remind you of your early drinking days…the ones you don’t remember of the alcohol that someone bought for you while you waited outside in the car with your sunglasses on like a badass.

8. Award shows creep you out to the point you no longer care to watch them. Do you know why they creep you out? Because you are too old for that shit. The younger crowd’s artistic thoughts have taken over and you just can’t hang. It’s OK, there are always the CMA’s. You are never too old for their corny jokes.

9. A phrase comes out of your mouth that you instantly hear yourself saying and realize you sound like your mother. Yup, it’s happened. You are officially turning into your mom. (Which my mother is lovely, so no complaints.)

10. It’s the weekend, and you are wide awake at 7:00 am cleaning the house. The days of sleeping til noon are long gone my friend.

11. You learn quickly that not everything is like riding a bike. I dare you to go outside in your front yard and try and do a cart wheel.

12. When you wake up in the morning and get out of bed and stroll across the room you sound like a bowl of Rice Crispies, your bones are snap, crackle and pop.

13. Along the same lines, you know when it is going to rain because you feel it in your knees. Maybe that is why all these old weather people know what’s up!

14. You are excited to go to the department store to pick up a replacement of your anti-aging cream. Fighting wrinkles like the crime stopper you are.

15. You read less of Cosmo and more Real Simple.

16. The back of your legs remind you of your favorite protein snack, cottage cheese.

17. You have learned to eat more veggies than potatoes and corn.

18. You have realized that you are not invincible. Nope, not in the least bit.

And that my friends are a few of the red flag signs to recognize that should tell you that you are crossing over.

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  • Reply Sara O July 25, 2013 at 1:00 pm

    If I’m ever giggling like a school girl with a cup of coffee in my hand before eight AM, it’s because I’m reading your blog.

    Every bone in my body popped as I got out of bed, I was up at 7:30 and have already started laundry and I’m sore like I ran a half marathon yesterday because it’s supposed to rain. But I’m not getting older. Nope. Total denial here!

  • Reply SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph July 25, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    YES to everything. Love this list.

  • Reply Carly @ The Pinot Project July 25, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    This is a fantastic list. My husband just asked me what the noise was when I was walking up the stairs, and it was my knees cracking and clicking up every step. So gross.

  • Reply Kate @ Another Clean Slate July 25, 2013 at 7:42 pm

    I hate that I haven’t even heard of half the bands the “kids” are listening to now. And I just looked in the mirror and pulled my bra straps up in an attempt to move my chest- no dice.

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