baby

Dear Zoe,

As I was getting things ready for your party yesterday morning, Daddy and I both turned and looked at you just walking by yourself in the living room. You paused to look at the TV and we both looked at each other and mumbled some comment about how it is so weird to see our tiny little human walking around looking like a toddler in our living room.

When I was pregnant, everyone kept telling me how fast time was going to go. I just politely smiled and laughed. But no, seriously, time flies. I remember laying on the operating table in the OR and hearing the doctor telling me to open my eyes so that I could meet my daughter. I remember fighting the cloudy haze I was in and opening my eyes and seeing you stare back at me. I whispered the words, Hello, Zoe. And my heart literally swelled and grew so much. I instantly felt this incredibly overwhelming love for you. I was so silly to worry when I was pregnant if we were going to bond right away. Of course we were, how could we not?

Those eyes of yours can move mountains and turn my day from horrible to amazing with one look from you. Your smile lights up my entire world. You have changed me in so many ways, all for the best. I am filled with such love, fear, wonder, pride. I know that I am not perfect. I appreciate that you are patient with me as I learn my new role as a mother. You have taught me so much. Patience, how to function on little to no sleep (haha!), to trust my gut instincts, to trust that you will show me what you need, and how much love I truly have to give. (Way more than I could have ever imagined.)

You went from this tiny little sweet smelling newborn who I cradled ever so delicately, to a smiley drooly happy baby who learned how to sit up. Then you started learning how to scoot around, which eventually lead to crawling. You were so proud that first time you pulled up to stand on your own. And now you are walking around the house pointing at everything with so much pride in your eyes. You are going to learn and grow so much this next year, and I am going to promise to do my best to be present and soak up every moment I can.

You have the most incredible snuggles, the best laugh I have ever heard. You have the sweetest little voice, and you might give a better side eye than me. Your personality shines through everything you do.

On your first birthday, my wish for you is that your smile is always so big, that it reaches your eyes. That you keep your sweet disposition and your hilarious sense of humor. That you remain curious and give yourself grace. That you still clap for yourself and keep your sense of pride in everything you do. And my main wish is that you know how truly loved you are. You are such an incredible little girl and I know you are meant to do great things.

I love you forever,

Mom

I knew before I even got pregnant that if I ever had a baby, I would want smash cake photos. I just think they are absolutely adorable and a great way to capture the huge first birthday milestone. And also the milestone of your very own first cake! My photographer wasn’t available to do them until a few weeks after Zoe’s birthday…and that didn’t make much sense to me. So I looked at Chris and said…we can do this ourselves! I don’t quite think he knew what we were in for. None the less, Chris has some photography equipment that he purchased several months ago that we never even took out of the box and it gave us an excuse to at least get the lights out.

Anyways, the tutu Zoe is wearing was purchased when I was pregnant. I put it on her around the three month mark and took a few pictures of her then but was saving it for a special occasion. The pearl necklace is mine, and we just got a pack of bows for her hair a few weeks ago at Target and since the headband that matches the tutu no longer fits, I thought the bow was perfect!

The cake stand is from HomeGoods, I swapped out the black bow it came with for a pink one with white polka dots. Publix made the smash cake, they are also making her birthday cake for this weekend. The tassel banner is from Hobby Lobby, the colorful pendants and gold string lights are from Target. The top pink blanket is an Aden and Anis (present at baby shower) and the white throw is Kate Spade from TJ Maxx.

Zoe didn’t get as into the photos as I would have liked. I think the lights were too bright, we did it right after she woke up from a nap and all she really cared about was eating the icing. I can’t blame her there. I love icing too! I feel like they turned out really cute though. All the photos I am sharing today are from my iPhone 7. Chris took many with our DSLR but if I waited until we downloaded and edited those, she might be two before I shared them. Haha! If you are coming to Zoe’s party this weekend, pretend like you are shocked that you will get one of these sweet pictures to take home, ok?! And now for the photo dump.

We are closing in on an entire year of Zoe, and I need to get this eleven month post up before that happens!!!

Nicknames:Little Z, Z, Zoe Bear, Bear, Z Bear, Lovey, Booger Butt, Monkey, Zo-Zo

Loves: Moving. Anything that you can stand up against and push is your favorite. You have figured out how to open up the kitchen cabinets and mommy and daddy have realized we haven’t baby proofed near enough yet! Your favorite toys are still your Vtech Walker, your yellow chair and  your activity table. You also like your tea pot and still play with your shape sorter and stacking cups.

Hates: You still aren’t a fan of waiting for food. Neither am I. Getting on your jammies at night is still proving to be difficult. Basically if it involves sitting still, you are not a fan.

Milestones: You are rocking table foods!!! I have also seen you try to stand more on your own, without holding on to anything and a few times you have let go and taken a few steps towards me. You have picked up a few new words. We hear you saying dada, bye and every now and then we hear a hi.

Clothing: Most of your clothes are 9 months or 12 months. Some 12 month stuff is still huge on you. You are still in a size 3 diapers for the day, and a 4 for your overnights.

Feeding/Sleeping: You are still on the same schedule as far was what time you eat and have your bottles. You usually go to bed around 7pm every night. You have started to take a regular nap after lunch now. At daycare you nap for about an hour to an hour and a  half, at home you usually nap two or three hours. You have been rocking the table foods! I can really tell that daycare has been working with you because in a weeks time you went from not really being interested in them and making me nervous when you do try….to wanting pretty much anything that is on my plate and trying everything! Your favorite things to eat have been anything bread related, pasta, beans and anything potato based. You are a carb girl like mommy.

Looks: Your eyes are still a strikingly beautiful light blue. Everyone who you come in contact with comments on how beautiful  your eyes are. Your hair is a dark blonde/light brown and has been that way for several months. Your hair is really getting long in the back and on the sides!

Things I want to remember from this month…

Hearing you say dada and bye is so cool! I know they are on purpose, because you say them at the right times.

You are obsessed with shoes and purses. Every morning when I am getting dressed for work,  I set you down in our closet and you head straight for my shoes. You love picking them up and looking at them and pushing the show boxes around. You are always going through your diaper bag and my purses too! Sometimes when my purse is in the back seat of the car next to you, you grab the handles and fall asleep holding them. Girl after my own heart!

Sometimes when you really get laughing, you snort and it is my favorite thing ever.

You love to randomly climb up on me for hugs.

When you want someone to pick you up, you crawl over to them and put your hands up in the air until they lift you.

You play a lot independently at daycare. I will see the live feed, and lots of kids are around the toy pool or in a certain area, and you are off on your own without a care in the world. Usually pushing around the walker or activity table.

The way you wave by to me in the mornings when I drop you off. It is both adorable and heart breaking all at the same time. Usually your teacher takes you over to the window to distract you while I leave. Most mornings you turn around and wave at me over  your shoulder and look on the verge of tears. It is so hard to leave!

You still love to throw the ball back and forth.

The way you pull yourself up on the back door and wave out to Mac and knock on the window. He is usually an asshole and walks away, but you get so excited when you see him!

Nicknames:Little Z, Z, Zoe Bear, Bear, Lovey, Booger Butt, Monkey, Zo-Zo

Loves: Moving. You are constantly crawling around and pulling up on everything you can get your grip on. Your favorite toys are still your Vtech Walker, your yellow chair and  your activity table. You also like your tea pot and still play with your shape sorter and stacking cups.

Hates: Waiting for food, getting your jammies on and being woken up in the evenings when we get home from daycare. You usually fall asleep in the car within 5 minutes of me picking you up and you do not like to be disturbed when it is time to get out of the car!

Milestones: You are really crawling now!!! When you first started, it was more of an army crawl. Now you get on all fours and you can go really fast! There have been a few times when you have let go of your toy or a piece of furniture without realizing it and stood by yourself unassisted for a moment. You have great control over standing up and sitting down now. You have done great with picking up pieces of food and putting them in your mouth.

Clothing: Most of your clothes are 9 months or 12 months right now. You still fit into all your 6 month onesies and rompers, but the pants have to be 12 months or they are far too short. You have long legs like mommy. You are still in a size 3 diapers for the day, and a 4 for your overnights.

Feeding/Sleeping: You are still on the same schedule as far was what time you eat and have your bottles. You usually go to bed around 7pm every night. Naps are hit or miss with you. Most of the time you are too busy having fun to be bothered to take a nap. You still eat every puree I give you. We have introduced stage 3 foods that are chunkier and have bits in them and you are doing well with those! Since your 9 month check up, you have been eating three meals a day and two snacks. You can now pick up and chew your puffs and yogurt melts.

Looks: Your eyes are still a strikingly beautiful light blue. Everyone who you come in contact with comments on how beautiful  your eyes are. Your hair is a dark blonde/light brown and has been that way for several months. It is longer in the back and touches the bottom of your neck!

Things I want to remember from this month…

You still growl and we play this game where you growl at me and I growl back. You laugh and laugh and we keep growling at each other and it is so fun!!!

You love to play ball with us. You throw it at us and we roll it back to you. Sometimes you even roll it for yourself to go get.

You shared ice cream with me for the first time when we were in Oneonta. (You have had frozen yogurt before.) You also had a few pieces of bread and fries that aunt Tracy shared with you.

You have a “boyfriend” at daycare. Every morning when you two see each other,  you both get so excited and frantically wave. Usually he is in the middle of eating breakfast and he quits once he sees you. It’s really sweet. It also reminds mommy to keep you locked up until you are 30. All of  your teachers call him  your boyfriend and often times when I look at the live feed of your classroom, you two are playing together somewhere.

Speaking of live feed, one time when I checked in on you…you were taking toys and tilting your head back and balancing them on your face. When they fell, you would grab something else and try again. It made me laugh and laugh.

You like to stick your tongue out at yourself when you look in the mirror. A few times you have tried to lick the mirror. You seriously crack me up.

You love your daddy snuggle time every night. Usually when I make you your nighttime bottle, your daddy snuggles you on the couch and you always look so content.

Sofia the First is the only TV show that holds  your attention. Besides football. You love football!

Can we talk about  how difficult it is getting to take these monthly pictures???? This is how most of them look….