This week’s question:
What did you think about dating and marriage the year before you met “The One?”
Dear Nadine circa 2009,
Oh, Nadine….naive, forgiving Nadine. Girl, we need to talk immediately. You are in a relationship with someone that doesn’t deserve you. I think you are afraid to be alone or something. You have a lot going on in your life right now, you are trying to decide if you going to take a different turn in your career, you are trying to figure out where you are going to move to now that your roommate is moving in with his girlfriend, you are being transferred to a different property for work….you don’t want any other part of your life to change right now. Here’s the thing…he is going to break your heart the day before you start your new job and move to a new apartment. Seriously? Yes. It is going to be hard on you. You are going to be depressed and lost for weeks.
It gets better. You get angry. You realize that he treated you like crap. You realize that you settled on so many things that were important to you for him that you never should have. You are mad at yourself because you have wasted away a few years of your life on this sociopath. You ignored all the red flags. But you finally find closure. You start to hang out with your friends more, and have a ton of fun doing so! You take an amazing trip to Destin.
You even cut your hair short?!
(The shortest your hair has ever been since you were like 2. Don’t worry, it grows back really fast!)
Now, things start to get interesting. I am pretty sure God has a sense of humor. You have a short string of dating weirdos. They are so weird in fact, that you have nicknames for them when you talk to your friends about it. I think my two favorites are The Cry Baby and Rock Boy. I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. Just go with it, it makes for good stories of your last little bit of single life. After a few of these weirdos, you decide you are totally fine with being single. You don’t need a guy, and you don’t really enjoy dating to be honest.
In November, you are going to start talking to a guy in Birmingham. You are going to immediately put him in the friend zone because the last thing you want is a long distance relationship. He is going to try and try to be more than that. Listen to your sweet friend Bettra, she is telling you to go for it. She has a good feeling about this one. You start to talk to him more and more. You start falling for him, but you are really scared. You have been through so much this past year, it is understandable. Just let your heart do the thinking right now, OK? You end up falling in love with this boy so quickly! Before you know it, you two will be engaged and you will be looking for a job because you are moving to Birmingham for him! I know girl, I said Birmingham. It is true. Trust me, it will be the best decision you have ever made in your entire life, just go with it!
(One of your first “dates” with the “one.”)
Your Future Married Self
P.S. – When a guy starts crying one night because you won’t get rid of your dog because he likes to travel and having a dog makes it hard to travel. It’s OK that just remembered that you are “on call” at work and leave immediately. Um, he is crazy! You have only been on 2 dates, and there is no way you would ever give up your dog for a boy. This is a sign the guy needs to put away in a room with white padded walls.
(You would rather snuggle with a Puggle any day than a stupid boy!)
P.P.S -When a guy starts talking to you about the time he babysat for a friend and he pulled rocks out of his pocket for the kids to learn about geology instead of playing video games….just walk away. Nothing he can say from that point forward will redeem himself. Maybe there is a geology loving rock girl out there for him.