Felt like a good currently post this morning. I also have something on my mind that I would like to vent.

One to Watch

Reading– One to Watch came available from the library last week. It was the audio version though, and I really just don’t have time to listen to a book right now. It is much easier for me to physically read one, which is so different than me pre-pandemic. I hope to get through it before it is due back.

Watching– Some of our shows have come back, so we have enjoyed catching an episode after Zoe goes to bed a few times this week. We are caught up with Good Doctor, Blue Bloods, Chicago Fire, SVU and I think we have one more episode of Greys. It is nice to have that normalcy back.

Listening-I found Liz Moody’s Instagram account through Whitney Simmons when she shared some of her Tik Tok recipes that I tried. I learned that she has a podcast called Healthier Together. I listened to her most recent episode on skincare with Jessica DeFino and I found it very intriguing. In the episode she talks about why hyaluronic acidĀ isn’t good for your skin, and a few other shocking tidbits I never thought about. I am definitely going to do some research now. If you are looking for healthy recipes, Liz’s Instagram account is great!!!

Cooking-I made an oatmeal bar recipe yesterday morning, and it was amazing. Like I almost ate the whole pan throughout the day yesterday because I couldn’t stop. This is where the recipe came from. Found, again, from a Whitney Simmons video.

I also made this chicken tortilla soup last night. It was really good! Definitely add the coconut milk. It gives it this creaminess to it that really sets it apart.

Thinking-Last Friday was insane with work. Email was blowing up. We took in more jobs in that one day than we usually get in a week. I was feeling overwhelmed, especially since I had worked extra early in the week to take a few hours to spend with Zoe on her birthday and wasn’t able to.

I had mentioned being overwhelmed to my sister, who made a comment about how she doesn’t have any sympathy for me because I get to sit in the comfort of my own home in a sweatshirt and don’t have to deal with people in person like the “essentials” such as herself.

Is there anyone else out there who feels this way??? Because let me tell you, while I am so so so grateful that I have a job that allows me to WFH in a sweatshirt during all of this…it is not some easy cake walk. I have a full time job with real responsibility. Take yesterday, my team was responsible and the last say on whether a $50 million deal went through. And yes, I do it from the comforts of my home..in a sweatshirt most days…but I am ALSO taking care of my child during this time. Basically a second full time job. And being her friend, caregiver, playmate, mother, teacher, dance instructor, basically her everything. Because Chris sits in meetings literally all day every day and cant really help me at all.

I still wake up before the ass crack of dawn, and even though I don’t have to commute to the office anymore…I still have to work out and fit in a few hours of work before Zoe wakes up. Last night I was up til almost 11pm working after she had gone to sleep. I work EVERY Saturday and Sunday for several hours, waking up early and not getting to sleep in on a weekend. Thanksgiving and Black Friday are the only two days I have had off since March. And only because I forced myself to take a break.

On top of all of that, I have mom guilt for making my daughter play independently for hours every day. Way longer than anyone her age should have to. And I have guilt in my career for not being the best I can possibly be and trying to further myself. I get my work done and on time, but it is really hard to focus some days when you are getting interrupted a hundred times to get snacks, put someone on the potty, checking to see what that noise was, listening to ridiculous shows on the ipad in the background, being asked 50 times if I am almost done and can take a break, etc.

So I want to set the record straight for people out there that think working from home is easy, and not really work. Because I promise you it is in fact not. And just because I don’t have to see people in person, doesn’t mean I don’t have to deal with people. I get snarky emails where it is hard to read the tone. I spend hours trying to track down data on the phone, talking to zoning departments, tax assessor offices, playing phone tag, etc. I have zoom calls with my team, and have to talk to market participants. So I am still “dealing with people.”

I ignored her comment, but it has eaten at me for days. This year has been hard on everyone, no matter your situation. We should have compassion for others, because you never really know what they are going through.

And there is this, which I think a lot of us have mastered…

Working-Because of what I said above, a lot of my side projects that I was really excited about this year have fallen to the back burner. Or off the stove completely. I had so many great ideas that I really want to make happen, and I just don’t have the time or energy for them. And I know you make time for what is important to you, but damn. Can someone give me a few extra hours in the week to accomplish them???

I need to come up with a plan for these things. I am indefinitely working from home for at least another year, and Zoe probably wont go back to school until the next school year…so this is life and I need to figure out a way to balance it. I think the hardest part of this year for me is feeling like I am losing myself and just barely staying afloat. Does anyone else feel that way?

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  • Reply laura December 10, 2020 at 9:17 am

    I’m SO glad you got this all out. Working a full-time job and being everything to your kids is literally exhausting. Most days I have a headache by the end of the day and am ready for bed by 8pm – even if I did it all in a sweatshirt all day. I am definitely just barely making it – I mean tears in the shower and at my desk most days. I totally agree that everyone needs to have compassion for everyone else – you have NO idea what is going on in people’s lives or minds.

  • Reply Lindsay Latimer December 10, 2020 at 11:57 am

    I’m sorry again that this happened to you. None of us needs this BS right now. It has been a truly shitty year for almost everyone I know… we’re all just trying to keep it together. For what it’s worth, I look up to you and think you’ve done a great job!

  • Reply Biana December 11, 2020 at 7:55 am

    I read one to watch and really liked it!! I feel all your feels about wFH – especially with a toddler it’s not easy and end up working more hours at night to just catch up!! Sending lots of love to you!

  • Reply ShootingStarsMag December 11, 2020 at 1:49 pm

    I’m so mad at your sister on your behalf. Just because someone works from home doesn’t mean it’s a cake walk! It’s still WORK, and I think it’s often harder for a lot of people because it’s hard to have a set start and end time when you’re at home – especially with kids. You’re doing so much, and I think you’re doing a great job. So yes, ignore your sister and anyone else that makes those type of comments. 2020 is tough on everyone, in some way, so we all have to be there for each other and just you know – have empathy and compassion!!!

    On a different note, yay for having some of your shows back. It does feel nice to have that kind of normalcy sometimes, you know?


  • Reply Rebecca Jo Vincent December 11, 2020 at 5:59 pm

    I can NOT imagine working from home with kids… It is amazing to me how much harder is it working from home. Yes, it nice for me to sit in my jammies all day & not worry about doing my hair – but if I had to take care of another human being that is in the age of needing ALL the attention… I would have been upset about that comment too.

    I gotta check out that recipe for that oatmeal yumminess!!!!

  • Reply Kristin December 12, 2020 at 8:38 am

    I could not/would not be able to WFH. I considered it when Wells was a baby (tutoring online, mostly) and I knew I could never make it work because he’s so unpredictable. Everyone acts like being a SAHM with a WFH side hustle is the DREAM. I couldn’t even wrap my head around what that would look like, let alone try it with a FT job.
    I like leaving the house (I don’t like coming home to the mess, but I’m learning to deal) and having a sitter for Wells has been good for all of us. I’m using my brain again and it feels good.
    Scott is WFH right now and absolutely hates it.
    All that to say: wearing a sweatshirt and juggling everything you’re doing is insane, and you’re making the best of it! I can’t believe how much you actually do with Zoe every day!

  • Reply Anne December 13, 2020 at 11:33 am

    Wow. Your sister’s comment left me speechless. If she’s going to say that to anyone – she should say it to me (live alone, no kids, and yes I do work from home in leggings every day). You do so much for Zoe, your family, and your work, and you do it all with an amazing outlook on life. Hang in there. I’m so sorry she said that to you.

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