Sometimes when I am driving home from a long day at work…or when I am doing my make up in the mornings…I think about how I miss having a best friend. My husband and my mom are my best friends of course…but you know what I mean…a best girl friend that you can have certain discussions with that you can’t really talk to your husband or mom about. Someone that knows you well enough to not have to ask certain things, they just know.
I miss having that person to call and talk to on my way home at night just because. I miss the conversations full of nothing at all that can go on for an hour with no silence. Someone I can tell about my most recent shopping experience, or discuss why I hate the way my hair falls some days or how I hate the way my legs look in shorts.
It got me thinking, how does one even make friends as an adult? I guess I should clarify by saying, an adult that is not in school. I have friends back in Atlanta, but since moving to Birmingham, I have had to get creative. I try and make friends with whomever my husband is friends with. I have made friends through the various jobs that I have. And most recently I have attempted to make friends with other bloggers in the area. But how else does one make friends?
I can’t very well go up to a normal looking person in the store that is interested in the same shirt as me and say “Hey, we like the same style…let’s go grab some coffee and get a pedi.” That isn’t awkward or creepy at all.
Or while in the Publix notice that there is someone with a cart full of similar meals for the week and ask if they want to get together and swap recipes. That doesn’t seem stalkerish in the least bit.
I had thought about trying to join a gym and maybe meet people in classes….but my work schedule doesn’t really allow for that. Plus, when I am at the gym I am there to get my work out on and not make friendly chit chat…I would assume other people are there for the same thing, no?
It almost seems as if everyone is already set and comfortable in their own little circles, and aren’t really looking for anyone new to join on in. I know that as adults, we become so wrapped up in our own lives, careers, marriages/relationships and we are all in different places that sometimes you might become disconnected with friends along the way.
I feel like when we were in college, we were all at the same stage in life. We were all focused on school and trying to figure out who we were and what we were going to do. Then when we graduated we were all let go into the real world, and some of us focused on our careers, some of us went and got married, some of us had kids, some of us still party like we are in college….we are all over the place. A lot of friends that have kids don’t have time for anything else. The days of them wanting to go grab a coffee or spend a few hours at the mall are long gone. Some of the single friends think that just because you got married, you aren’t cool to hang with anymore and move on without you. Some people have moved out of state and out of mind.
Does anyone else find it difficult to make friends as adults? fd